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Blog fame

June 17, 2010

The Pioneer Woman commented on my blog once. It was before she was famous, and quite ingenious on her part. I had commented on Dooce, and Pioneer Woman must have clicked through to my blog and read a post about fighting with Rob while househunting. She commented something like “Try to stay married” through it all, which is funny, because we were not then and are not now married. But we’re still together and happily cohabitating.

I can’t prove it because I moved from Blogger to WordPress and my comments didn’t come with.

What a strategy, because I clicked through to her site, thinking, “Who is this Ree?” And got hooked. If she commented on all of Dooce’s readers’ pages, she could have effectively lured all those readers to her site.

I tried something similar by commenting on Nothing But Bonfires, but my readership never really skyrocketed. Perhaps because I don’t have a unique story to tell about raising four kids on a ranch, and I’m not an outstanding cook. I did go to USC though, same as Pioneer Woman.

And now you have Pioneer Woman and Nothing But Bonfires having tea and crumpets together at the ranch, while I’m still enjoying blog anonymity.

Man, I wish I were at that slumber party.

Maybe they’ll all see that I’ve linked to their sites and start reading my blog and I will become blog famous after all! Better start being more clever more often!

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If German shepherd puppies were cats, she’d be a crazy cat lady

June 14, 2010

I keep getting my hopes up about potential baby brothers for Isis and then being sadly disappointed.

Last weekend, I visited three places with German shepherd litters. At least they were actually German shepherds this time, and I saw the parents to prove it (see post below).

The boys in the first litter didn’t really speak to me. But I picked one that I liked the best and practiced introducing a puppy to Isis. I carried him to the car, where she looked like she wanted to bark at it, but I let her know that this was a friend, not food, and she calmed.

I handed the pup off to the man who bred it, and walked Isis on her leash over to his front lawn. Isis did not show any interest or concern about the strange man or the furry bundle in his arms. He set the pup down, but still, she paid more attention to me. I unhooked her leash and she sniffed the puppy like a totally normal dog. I was so proud. The pup may have been too small to play with, but at least he didn’t make Isis angry or afraid.

Next, we visited a family with five male puppies so adorable that I couldn’t actually choose which one I thought had the best personality. I made a mental note to bring Rob back if the next breeder didn’t work out.

Siblings of Isis' new baby brother?

But I didn’t think that would happen. I had very high hopes for the third breeder. Her website was so thorough. She talked about breeding for temperament, using European lines (like Isis’ parents!) and positive reinforcement training. She had three litters to choose from.

We drove 2 hours on Saturday to her “ranch.” A pair of mommy and daddy dogs ran down the gated driveway as we drove up. Isis barked at them.

When we walked through the gate, one of the grown dogs jumped up on me and nipped me through my jeans. It hurt a little. Five 12-week-old pups raced around, and they were pretty cute. I almost preferred them to baby pups, because I better remember Isis looking like that. But these were all girls.

This is a boy puppy, in case you couldn't tell (update 6.26: I'm pretty sure this is our Leo!)

The girls jumped up all over us as we waited for the breeder lady to feed them and do whatever other little tasks that were keeping her from showing us the boys. When I had her attention again, I said, “We’re looking for a boy.”

She asked why and tried to convince us that gender didn’t matter. Whether or not it matters was not the point, of course. I had asked for a boy. It irritated me that she was trying to talk me out of what I wanted.

Several fluffball 8-week-old puppies cried and threw themselves against the chicken wire separating them from us. I looked them over to see if any of them had the right disposition for our household, but I couldn’t tell gender.

I said again that I wanted a mellow male. Breeder lady said, “I don’t have any of those.”

Finally, we convinced her to put away the adorable 12-week-olds, and while she did so, the mommy dog jumped up on me and scratched my arm.

Then the breeder lady let two pups out of the house. Two females, she said, who had the kind of personality wedidn’t want. She just wanted us to be able to compare. One of the pups ran around the side of the house and breeder lady excused herself. Sometimes it takes a while to wrangle that particular gal, she said.

We stand there on the porch trying to figure out the rationale of showing us two dogs we don’t want, rather than show us the dogs we do want.

Finally, the door was opened to the littlest pups. As they ran around, I picked one up at a time, looking for a boy. Not finding one, I asked, “Are any of these boys?”

“Nope, no boys,” she tells me.

Now, I am fairly certain I said on the first voice mail I left this woman that I was looking for a boy dog. Is it possible I forgot to mention that part when I talked to her on the phone? I remember her saying that what I wanted was  a “beta” … but had she really not gotten the message that I had a gender preference?

I had driven all that way on Saturday, after driving several hours on Monday and several hours on Friday to look at puppies.

I was pissed. Decided this woman is a terrible person and an irresponsible breeder, despite all the declarations on her website about helping people find the right dog for their homes.

Rob said, no, she’s not a terrible person. She’s just a kook. He didn’t mind driving all that way to play with some puppies.

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An old maid, just like my daughter

June 14, 2010

While shopping for puppies, I met a few mommy and daddy dogs. Some of them looked a little bit like Isis, except with drooping nipples, and one had a long coat and a black face and looked nothing like her.

I asked how old they are and learned that they’re three.

Isis is three.

But Isis is just a baby, not a mommy.

She’s old enough to be her baby brother’s mommy. Except we had her spayed before her first heat, so we’ve forever preserved her in a puppy state.

I am a lot like my dog in this way. Many girls my age are actually women, because they have become mothers. But I am still just a girl because I don’t have any children. (Of the human variety, anyway.)

I look at the boys and girls that I grew up with and realize that if they are old enough to have children, then I must be old enough to have children. But I look at my dog and think that she’s just a puppy who needs a playmate, not a baby.

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Keeping it real

June 10, 2010

All is not as well as I so optimistically declared last week. My foot still bothers me and my TMJ has gotten bad again.

Active release therapy for TMJ is not as much fun as having my foot rubbed, and I feel sore after. I’ve had two treatments and I hope that it’s working, because never mind the pain, it’s annoying to have my jaw click every time I open my mouth.

I don’t know what to do about my foot. I’d really like to use the memberships at the two gyms I joined in February. At this point, I feel like I’ll never be able to exercise normally again.

Or eat normally. Did you know there’s soy in everything? Bread, candy, my favorite frozen eggplant parmesan…? And I’m sure I have some kind of allergy to soy, because every time I have anything with a soy product in it, I break out.

So, ick.

The bright light on the horizon is that we are expecting.

To get a puppy.

I have mixed feelings about breeders vs. rescues, but know I have to be very careful in the selection of Isis’ baby brother, because of her special needs.

I drove a long way to meet a puppy who turned out not to be much of a German shepherd at all, but perhaps a mix of a Rottweiler, Australian shepherd and chow. What a handful that would have been.

There’s a 6-month-old possible shepherd/Australian cattle dog mix that I am drawn to. He’s a little fearful, and I worry that he could learn some reactive/aggressive tendencies from Isis. She’ll be all, “Hey, tall guys wearing hats are bad. We must bark like crazy at them so they don’t come in the house to kill Momma.” Also, perhaps a cattle dog requires as much exercise as a border collie or Australian shepherd.

At least with a breeder, you know what you’re getting. But then I feel bad about all those dogs in shelters.

Reminds me of a PETA ploy of a few years ago, advertising a free gift bag to new owners of AKC-registered puppies. The gift turned out to be a body bag and a note saying that for every breeder-born dog, a shelter dog must die.

Kinda turns me off to PETA a little.

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Miracle cure

June 2, 2010

I guess I ought to give a shout out to the miracle cure that has enabled me to put weight on my right foot.

Active Release Technique

It feels like a deep tissue massage, but as I understand it, she separates scar tissue from tendons, ligaments and muscles, alleviating the pain.

The pain in the ball of my left foot was debilitating, no joke. It hurt to walk, and ached even when I was doing nothing.

The relief I felt after the first ART session with Barbra was immediate. After 3 sessions, I’d say I’m 87 percent better. I still have to favor the foot a little, and hesitate to do things like jump rope or stand one-legged with all my weight on the ball of my foot. But I got through a step class yesterday without pain during or after.

I’ve had her work on my stiff neck too. It’s funny, I feel completely pain free immediately afterward, but the tightness comes back within a few minutes. So I have less grandiose expectations about her curing that problem and enabling me to do kettlebells again.

She treats TMJ as well, so that’s next on my list, since the left side of my jaw has begun clicking. (That was the first symptom I felt on my right side in 2003.) I swear, if it turns out that TMJ can be CURED by ART, I’m going to be so relieved and so pissed off that I didn’t know about it 7 years ago.

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Cranky pants

June 2, 2010

Things have been going pretty well of late. My foot is on the road to recovery, and I have resumed some of my exercise classes. Summer is near, etc. etc.

Even in the face of “going pretty well of late,” sometimes I accidentally put on my cranky pants. I don’t even realize I’m wearing them. Perhaps some older ladies at the gym are sitting on a bench right next to the locker where I’ve stashed my stuff. They’re fully dressed in their street clothes, but they’re just chatting, oblivious to my needing to scooch around them in a cramped space to get to my towel. When I return from the shower and see that they’re still there, I let out one of those exasperated, “what-ever” sigh/snorts. Even though they don’t actually hear this, they do leave shortly thereafter.

Or maybe I’m recounting a challenging work situation in an instant message window, and I find myself wanting to use more profanity than is my usual. I don’t catch on at this point, because I’m not actually mad at anyone. There are some people who are sort of mad at me, but even this doesn’t really bother me, because what they’re mad about is something over which I didn’t have a whole lot of control.

Could be that I’m pulling into the parking lot at my lunch spot and become inordinately annoyed with people who creep along, waiting for someone else to vacate a spot, even though there are plenty of other spaces.

That was the moment of realization for me today, when I uttered something derogatory and profane about a faceless driver in front of me, for a pretty insignificant offense.

Oh, shit, I’m wearing my cranky pants today!

Nothing an 84-gram organic orange dark chocolate bar won’t fix. That’s a single serving, right? 84 grams?

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Bookclubbing

May 17, 2010

I seem to have gotten my “young folk” book club off the ground. First we read Infidel, because I had read it and was dying to talk about it, but couldn’t attend the discussion at what I lovingly call my “Old Lady Book Club.” Our second book was Cows, Pigs, Wars and Witches. I didn’t care for it because a) it’s not narrative and b) it was an old white guy’s anthropological opinion of other cultures.

Our next two books are Water for Elephants and The Road. I finished Water for Elephants last night, even though we won’t be discussing it until mid June. The Old Lady Book Club will be discussing it at the end of June.

I was accused of “cheating” by getting the young folk to read the same book as the old ladies, but I was encouraged that the men in the young folk club would like it for two reasons.

  1. The first time I heard of the book was when I saw the audio version in the fish stock assessment lab at one of my tribes. The lab technician (a dude) had listened to it during his long days alone in the lab.
  2. When I got my copy at the used bookstore downtown, the sales guy raved about it and said he read it in its entirety on a flight between Denver, Detroit or Dallas (I can’t remember) and Seattle.
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Water for Elephants

May 17, 2010

Sex, violence and circus animals. What’s not to love?

I enjoyed Water for Elephants from the start, but as it neared its conclusion, it just kept getting better and better. On my scale, it went from four stars to five stars in the final chapters.

There’s a technique I’ve been seeing too often in television shows, where something terribly dramatic happens in the opening scene. Then we see a title that says “24 hours earlier” and we find out the events that led to the dramatic circumstance.

Water for Elephants
opens with a dramatic prologue that introduces us to Jacob (our hero), Marlena (his love interest) and Rosie (an elephant). Then we’re introduced to Jacob as a nonagenarian in a nursing home. When the circus comes to town, he reflects on the events that led to his becoming a circus veterinarian and falling in love with both Marlena and Rosie.

I started asking myself why the writer felt the need to start with that prologue. I felt like it detracted from the story because I thought I knew where the characters would end up. Without giving anything away, I will say that the prologue is, in fact, masterfully written and enhances an already powerful climax.

For some reason I want to compare my experience reading Water for Elephants with another heralded book about animals, The Story of Edgar Sawtelle. I found Sawtelle enormously disappointing, after being completely entranced by the dogs in the early chapters. I learned later in his interview with Oprah that the author didn’t know why his characters did the things they did. Sawtelle also had a deliberately mysterious prologue, but none of the questions it raised are answered in the story. As the story started falling apart, I kept reading, eager to find a satisfying conclusion, but found none.

So I was thrilled last night as I read the last 150 pages of Elephants, to feel it going somewhere and have it arrive with all the pieces intact. It’s not a perfect novel. I had some criticisms along the way, but I can’t remember what any of them were, because I so completely enjoyed the dénouement.

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I just love a happy ending

May 11, 2010

I really thought I’d nailed this whole pest control thing. I solved the mouse, nay mice, in the car problem with a thorough cleaning and scented dryer sheets.

About a week ago, I discovered mouse turds on the kitchen counter. No problem at all. We’ve been here before. I set a trap.

The next morning, the peanut butter had been licked from the trap, with a little pile of mouse poop next to it, mocking me. The trap had not snapped.

I set it again, this time with almond butter, since that’s what we’ve been eating. Oh my gawd, is it delicious. I just want to eat a whole jar of it with a spoon. (Incidentally, we don’t pay $17.99 for it.  Fred Meyer sells it for $3.99)

The next morning, the trap was licked clean.

I set a second trap and tried to position the two strategically so the mouse couldn’t get to one without snapping the other. Upon the advice of a coworker, I replaced the almond butter with cheese. For two more nights, the mouse nibbled the bait from the trap and left taunting little turds beside it.

Last weekend, we awoke in the night for whatever reason, and I saw that cheese had been nibbled from only one of the traps. I moved an electronic trap, which so far has never caught a mouse, next to the two traps in a formation I was sure would lure the mouse to his snappy demise.

A short while later, we heard a great clang.

“Go get it, go get,” I told Rob.

“No, no, it’s freshly dead,” he said.  “You have to let the rigor set in.”

“Go look at it, go look at it,” I told him.

From the kitchen, I heard, “Aaah, Kari, come here, come here, come here!”

Evidently, the mouse had been lying on his back, looking dead, when it and the trap suddenly started scooting back behind the oven. I wondered later if the mouse had a buddy who was trying to save him.

When I arrived, I saw the trap turned over, with a little tail sticking out. I checked back later and I couldn’t see the tail. I reached for the trap which had a little foot in it, but when I pulled, the little leg stretched, and then the mouse was gone behind the oven.

A few more nights of cat and mouse went by and last night, Isis woke me up acting very strangely. She wasn’t whining, but I could tell she was really freaked out about something. I’m highly attuned to this dog; I knew a trap had snapped.

Indeed, one of the traps was upside-down on the stove top. The other was nowhere to be found. Rob pulled out the oven this morning and didn’t see anything.

I resigned myself to get a glue trap. Sure it’s unseemly and inhumane to have to deal with a live mouse stuck to one of those things, but enough is enough. It’s him or me.

However, they didn’t have glue traps at the store. At the very least, I decided we (and by we, I mean Rob) should climb behind the oven and fill the space around the gas line with that expanding foam stuff. No more mice will get in and eventually I’ll get a glue trap and the ninja mouse can die a slow, painful death.

As it turned out, Rob hadn’t looked carefully enough this morning, because when we pulled the oven out, the little sucker was just hanging out by the hole in the floor, with a trap stuck to his tail. (You can see how the trap blends with the color of the floor.)

This was no ordinary mouse. He either really deserved to live, or really deserved to die.

We chose life, and set him free in our neighbor’s yard.

His right hind leg looks a little funky. I wonder if that’s the one that I pulled the other day. He’s probably not long for the woods anyway, but at least I didn’t kill him.

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These streets will make you feel brand new

April 30, 2010

I’ve been to New York at least 10 times in my life, but Rob had never been. I hadn’t done any of the “touristy” stuff since my first couple of visits, but I was happy to do it all again with Rob. We bought $79 City Passes, which included entrance to the Met, the Natural History Museum, MoMA, Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island and the Top of Rockefeller Plaza.

We supplemented the City Pass with a pedicab through Central Park, the Broadway Show Rock of Ages, and a taping of The Late Show with David Letterman.

We were smart enough to go to the Top of the Rock on our first day, which turned out to be the only sunny day.  We took lots of pictures with the Empire State Building in the background. On our last day, it was so overcast and rainy that we were strongly encouraged not to bother going to the top of the Empire State Building. But since it was already paid for, and we were leaving the next day, we did it anyway. They weren’t kidding. There was nothing to see.

They gave us half-price on the flight simulation NY Skyride, which takes you on a virtual helicopter tour over New York. And there was no line, so the terrible weather was actually a bonus.

The City Pass allows you to skip long lines, which was hugely beneficial for our visit to the Museum of Modern Art. The lines there were so long, we probably wouldn’t even have gotten in before we needed to leave for the Letterman show. But because we had the City Pass, we just breezed on in.

I prefer MoMa to the Met, which is very overwhelming. We saw the controversial “The Artist is Present” exhibition, with live nude models, but my favorite part was seeing a group of very young schoolchildren being asked what they saw in a Mark Chagall painting.