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I paid full price for @mindykaling’s book

November 19, 2011

Mindy Kaling is one of my comedy heroines. Right up there with Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

I always thought she was funny in her tertiary role on The Office, and was impressed when I noticed that she had a writer, producer and sometimes directing credit. I “liked” Subtle Sexuality on Facebook after watching the video for Male Prima Donna.

Following her on Twitter is what solidified our completely one-sided friendship.

When her book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) came out a few weeks ago, I asked Rob to get it in audio form, because it’s so awesome to hear comedy writers read their own stuff. In the book, she talks about how falling asleep watching Dave Chappelle made her feel like they were friends. Well, that’s what it’s been like the past few weeks; Kelly Kapoor tells us funny stories every night before bed.

The best part is that Rob thinks she’s hilarious too!

His review: Once you factor in her creative talents in authoring & narrating humorous tales, Mindy’s hotness skyrockets through the roof. Gorgeous and brilliantly witty. She is the second smartest & hottest & funniest girl next to Kari.

Awww.

So when I found out she was going to be signing her book in Seattle, even though I’d already listened to most of it, and even though I can’t remember the last time I paid cover price for a book (sorry, authors), and even though the UW Bookstore required you to buy the book there to have it signed, we happily drove down there and paid $25 for the book and the privilege of saying “You’re my favorite Twitter friend.”

Know what else is cool? And I can say this with some authority since I grew up in Los Angeles and have seen my fair share of celebrities close up. Mindy Kaling is considered more of a “real person” than a “model/actress” type (which she notes in the chapter where she describes having to audition for, and be turned down for, the character of “Mindy” in a pilot she wrote!). And yet, compared to all of us schlubby Pacific Northwesterners, she looked famous. Glamorous and put together. And was so gracious.

/fanletter

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What’s to eat?

November 14, 2011

I became a vegetarian in 2000, and now I feel bad about eating bananas.

I’m reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. I suggested it to my book club after we read a dystopian downer called The Windup Girl, which had something to do with food being an endangered species controlled by Calorie Companies. I didn’t care for it. At. All. But it did make me want to read some nonfiction about the state of food in the world.

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle I like. Some of the reviews I read complained that it’s not fair to expect regular people to grow their own food. Kingsolver and family have a lot more resources than regular people. And does she have to be so smug?

I don’t think she’s smug at all, I think she recognizes that the year of eating locally isn’t possible for most people. That’s why she wrote about it, to share the experience with those of us who don’t have the money or wherewithal to move to the Appalachians and pluck our own poultry. While the book contains recipes, it’s not a cookbook, it’s a fantasy memoir. Here’s what life would be like if you could afford to live off the land for an entire year. (I know, weird, right? Living of the land appears to be more costly than eating at McDonald’s every day.)

A neighborhood branch of a grocery chain is having a closing sale. I went there yesterday with ideas of buying all the local produce they had. (Wait, what’s in season right now?) I walked out with Ecuadorean bananas and $274 of other stuff. It was a ridiculous spree that also included organic cotton socks and a snow shovel. I don’t know what happened. Rob was with me, but I was the one putting most of the stuff in the cart.

I mention the bananas, because even though I am inspired by Kingsolver’s book, I still walked into the grocery store, looked at the produce section and thought, “I have no idea what to get.” When did I lose the ability to feed myself? Bananas are something I know how to eat. I slice them and eat them with peanut butter on toast.

I’m a fairly lousy gardener, but Animal, Vegetable, Miracle makes me want to grow tomatoes and potatoes. How cool would it be to grow my own carrots? I picture myself pulling the leggy orange roots out of the dirt by their weedy green hair. Of course, then I’d have to worry about deer eating my groceries. And keep my diggity dogs away from the beds.

The least I can do is buy from the farmers’ market or co-op.

I’m not a strict vegetarian anymore. I started eating seafood again in 2007 when I regularly came face to face with the harvesting process. I feel good about that. I still feel bad watching fish gasp their last breath, but I’m comfortable decapitating a shrimp or putting a live crab in a steaming pot of water. Hey, if you’re going to eat it, you better respect where it came from.

That’s basically the message of Kingsolver’s book, and here’s the craziest part. I found myself looking forward to the chapter about harvesting poultry. It still makes me sad to think of the deer and cows who die to feed my dogs. I went to a sheep farm a few years ago, and couldn’t relate to the woman who raises those fuzzy little critters to eat. I wanted to read in detail about how Kingsolver dispatches the toms and roosters she and her daughter so lovingly reared. It helps, she says, that testosterone-fueled birds aren’t so fun to be around.

Also, what? The chicken on your table is actually a rooster! Your Thanksgiving turkey is a tom!

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What do I have to be anxious about?

November 11, 2011

I had an anxiety dream two nights in a row where I was late to the airport. In one dream, Kris Jenner was supposed to pick me and my dad up and drive us. She was late. I hope by including “Kris Jenner” in this post it will boost traffic to my blog. Khloe Kardashian was there too. We missed our flight, which was a problem because it was a direct flight from New Delhi to Bellingham, and they only had one flight a day.

Last night, I dreamed that Rob and I were at my mom’s old house and we didn’t have enough time to go to a museum before our flight that night. I had prepaid for the museum tickets and we wouldn’t be able to use them. I came up with a brilliant plan that if we missed our flight on purpose, we could rebook for the next day without having to pay a change fee, thus giving us time to go to the museum. But I couldn’t find the airline phone number on its website.

I started writing this post thinking these dreams are so weird because I have nothing in the world to be anxious about. I have nothing but time. I spent the first half of this day honoring veterans by napping on the couch.

But as I typed the sentence about rebooking a flight, I remembered that yesterday, I wanted to change the return flight for an upcoming trip to make it easier to pick up Leo from the kennel.

Ah ha. How could I forget? I practically cried about this yesterday. I am exceedingly anxious about going away and leaving the dogs. Rob’s parents are the best dog sitters ever, but they are going on this trip with us. I am worried I won’t even be able to enjoy myself because I will be so worried about the dogs.

I don’t want to board Mia, because I’m afraid she’ll think she’s being sent to live in yet another home. I told her months ago that she would live in this house the rest of her life, but I don’t really know how much English she understands. So we’re having someone come stay with her. Dealing with Leo is a lot more to ask of someone. We boarded him last Thanksgiving and he did fine. Why am I afraid the very same kennel will ruin him this time around?

Short of changing our return flight, the best solution will be for Mia’s dog-sitter to pick Leo up the night before we get home. But will Leo even get in the car with her? Will she have to drive my car and bring Mia with her?

Unfounded anxiety, right? Oh! Except in the book Lost Dogs about the Michael Vick case, one of the rescued dogs got away and got killed while she was being dog-sat. So yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of.

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I can’t quit you, Glee

November 9, 2011

Glee was there for me during a really hard time last February. The Super Bowl episode and the Valentine’s Day episode a few days later made me smile after the worst week ever.

Yes, last season’s “Blame it on the Alcohol” and “A Night of Neglect” episodes were misses, but “Comeback,” “Sexy,” “Original Song,” and “Prom Queen” won my heart all over again.

Remember the Celibacy Club’s performance of “Afternoon Delight”? Comedy gold.

So, sure, I was disappointed in last week’s “Pot O’ Gold” episode. Sorry, but Damian McGinty irritates me. I liked him fine on “The Glee Project,” but in his debut as Rory Flanagan, his performance grated on me. So smirky. The writing didn’t help, but I kinda suspect he can’t act. He is awfully cute, so I’m thinking the producers felt the show needed a dreamboat who skews a little younger than Puck (sigh). I’m getting pretty old myself; is Blaine too manly for teenyboppers?

Speaking of Puck, we all saw that kiss with Shelby coming, right? At least they gave Idina Menzel something else to do than hold the baby awkwardly and gaze at her dreamily.

I commend them for having a whole episode without a solo from Rachel, but Blaine’s “Last Friday Night” was the worst example of a gratuitous number that had nothing to do with the story or characters.

Which brings me to last night’s “The First Time.” Now we’re talking. Actual character development, emotion, solid performances. The use of songs to tell the story. (Although I was surprised to discover I don’t really like most of the music from “West Side Story.”)

Not the best episode ever, but good enough that I can suspend disbelief that Rachel and Blaine would still be on book just a few days before opening night, and that McKinley High has TWO female teachers who are virgins. And that Blaine would visit Dalton wearing high waters with no socks.

Because, come on, how sweet were those love scenes to the strains of “One Hand, One Heart”?

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A love letter to Rob and Disneyland

November 1, 2011

Rob loves Disneyland. I grew up in L.A., so Disneyland always has been as familiar to me as the county fair. We discovered Disney’s California Adventure, the theme park next door, on our first visit to Los Angeles together. Since then, we’ve been to the pair of parks in Anaheim a bunch of times and in 2007 we spent 5 days at Disney World.

A magical place. The Happiest Place on Earth.

Totally.

During our first visit in the summer of 2004, we swung circles inside a giant citrus on a ride called Orange Stinger at California Adventure. We hadn’t yet been dating a whole year. I had moved 2 1/2 hours away to Olympia, but our relationship had continued to grow. I flew with the cartoonish sound of bees buzzing in my ears, wind in my teeth from smiling so big and I couldn’t remember ever feeling so happy.

Orange Stinger has been replaced with the Silly Symphony Swings, which has better music, but feels much shorter. I miss the orange.


I was recovering from a cold during our most recent visit to the Happiest Place on Earth, and though I flagged a bit after a lunchtime glass of sangria, I was reminded of how much I love Disneyland and how much I love Rob at Disneyland.

My midday energy slump gave Rob a chance to show off his resourcefulness, cheerful easygoing nature, and irritating ability to fall asleep anywhere. At 3 p.m., we entered Disneyland proper for the first time of the day, having spent the morning at Cal. Adv. The lines for the renovated Star Tours and Ghost Galaxy Space Mountain were prohibitively long and they weren’t giving out any more Fast Passes.

At that moment, there wasn’t another single thing I wanted to do at Disneyland and felt like we might as well go home. Rob suggested walking to Critter Country and as we passed a display of carved pumpkins, I didn’t even think I could make it there.

Trying not to be a buzz kill, I suggested a quick trip on the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. I’d been losing my voice, so I didn’t want to scream, but the ride was exhilarating as ever. Even with a head cold, I love a roller coaster. The 15-minute line, though, was brutal. I suggested that we find a place where I could just rest while Rob ran around Critter Country or wherever. He said, “No, I’ll rest with you.”

We found a nook next to Davy Crockett’s Canoes, which weren’t running. I was tempted to duck the rope and nap ON a canoe. Rob took off his shoes and used them for a pillow, laying down on the concrete behind a boulder. I tried variously to relax by resting my head on his belly, on my shoes, and sitting with my back against the boulder. Earlier, when I struggled to put one foot in front of the other in Adventure Land, I thought I might actually be able to fall asleep if I just closed my eyes for a minute. Not so. Rob, on the other hand, was snoring.

Still, I was rejuvenated by the brief respite. With 20 minutes until we could use our Fast Pass at the Haunted Mansion, we strolled over to the bridge to Sleeping Beauty’s castle and sat on a bench watching waves of costumed families arrive for Mickey’s Halloween Party. This was a highlight, just sitting together smiling at baby Wolverines and Captains America. Entire groups dressed as the cast of Peter Pan. Heavyset teenage girls dressed in short, corseted dresses invoking Sexy Minnie, Sexy Cinderella, Sexy Wicked Queen. (I can mock, I own the Sexy Wicked Queen costume.)

Because we’ve been to Disneyland and California Adventure so many times and will go many more times, we can shrug off disappointments like not getting to ride Star Tours or Space Mountain. I didn’t even realize until this minute that the only rides we went on at Disneyland were Haunted Mansion and Big Thunder Mountain. At California Adventure, we hit The Little Mermaid, Twilight Zone Tower of Terror (twice), Silly Symphony Swings, California Screaming and Soaring Over California. Rob always wants to go on Tower of Terror more than once, and I always feel a little bit like, “Really? Again?” But the rises and falls of that haunted service elevator are randomly determined, and the combination during our second ride may well have been the best. ever.
On our way out, we discovered the Wilderness Explorer Camp at the Redwood Creek Challenge Trail, which I compared to a dog park for children, where parents can take their kids to run out all their energy on ropes courses, rock walls and tire swings. We cut through the Grand Californian Hotel to get to the tram and discovered a lovely, enormous lobby with cushy chairs and a live pianist. We mentally bookmarked the spot for a future midday nap.
Disneyland brings out the best in us. I love Rob’s sense of wonder at discovering two new places we haven’t seen before. My feet were aching, but his enthusiasm is contagious. I said, “Yeah, let’s have a look. Let’s find out what my animal totem is.” (First try it was beaver, but I did it again until I got the salmon.)
We used to stay until closing, but we were ready to go at about 9. As the tram pulled up to the Mickey and Friends parking structure, we heard the first explosions of the fireworks show. We disembarked and sat beside each other at the tram stop, watching the fireworks light up the theme park, a safe distance from the crowds, just the two of us.
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To the punk who gave me the finger while I walked my dogs

October 23, 2011

Look, I have a complicated relationship with the cyclists who travel 32nd Street and thereabouts. I know it’s not politically correct to say, but you’re mostly in my way. Mine is a reasonably trafficked street, but it only has two lanes, so when you’re riding your bike between moving cars and parked cars, with your little kiddie trailer swaying behind you, you get on my nerves.

When I am on foot with my four-legged companions, I go out of my way not to cause problems for you and your buddies, the joggers and the strollers, skateboarders and scooter gliders. I know I have big scary dogs and I don’t want anyone to feel intimidated by us on the sidewalk.

I have my own baggage where this is concerned. It is because of you, because of all of you, that I couldn’t walk Isis on her very own street. I wished we lived in a neighborhood with no other people at all, near a woodsy trail all to ourselves. When Isis started consistently barking and lunging at passing bicycles, I tried setting my alarm and timing my walks to avoid all of you fit, environmentally friendly people on your morning commutes. I followed the Dog Whisperer’s advice and kept walking, walking, because walking is the answer to all behavior problems. And if she saw a bike, I would bump her with my leg to distract her from the oncoming threat. Doing this while she was midbark resulted in her powerful jaw coming down and leaving a nasty bruise on my thigh. To be honest, I have no idea how you cyclists felt about this, because I was so distracted by Isis’ tantrum, that I never even saw your faces. I wondered whether Isis was barking at the same person day after day, and why that person didn’t get the message and find another route.

Later I learned methods of desensitizing her to sidewalk stimuli, but walking her remained stressful the rest of her life.

Walking my dogs now is a joy. Leo had his own challenges, like when he used to jump up and chomp on our arms and legs (and Rob’s crotch) in the middle of the walk. Have to say, I was less embarrassed to have my dentist drive by and see Isis raging at a golden retriever in its own yard than I was to stand on the sidewalk with my puppy dangling from my bloody arm. But Leo’s a good walkers now, and last week I started walking him and Mia at the same time by myself.

This morning, a couple of bicycles passed us, including one that made that clicking noise that sometimes startles dogs. The doggies thought nothing of it. At one point, Leo started doing a little dance behind me and I turned around, surprised to see you, sunglassed, helmeted teenager, whizzing from behind, stealthlike. I hadn’t heard you coming, or else I would have protected you from my dog’s terrifying stare. I don’t even think Leo barked, but maybe he jumped his front legs off the ground in your direction.

You looked at me through your mirrored shades and extended your middle finger as you rode by.

Seriously, what did we ever do to you? Do you think it’s easy, walking 170 pounds of German shepherds? I’m very considerate of the people who share the road. Sometimes people stare or move funny and set off my dogs, but do I give them the finger? No. I am a grown woman.

My very mature response was “Thanks. For the finger.” And you were gone. I do wish I could discuss this with you further. Was I being somehow irresponsible or rude to walk my dogs on that sidewalk? My feelings are hurt, here. Really, they are.

You stupid a-hole.

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Oh deer

October 13, 2011

Our property is bordered along one side by a creek. The creek is bordered by thick brambles of invasive blackberry bushes, which effectively fenced in our dogs. The ones that we raised from puppyhood, anyway.

A few weeks after we got Mia, whom we believe to have lived a tough life on the streets, I was surprised to come home from a quick jaunt to Radio Shack to find the dogs sniffing around the front yard. Rob had left them in the backyard, but they’d gotten out. Impossible! We have a cedar fence on one side and those blackberries on the other.

Later, they were out back while I was getting something from my car and who should come trotting out from around the house, on the blackberry side, but Leo. Busted. I’m sure Mia was the one who showed Leo he could get out that way, but she was smart enough not to do it in front of me. They had created a little tunnel through the blackberries to the path along the side of the house.

We put up a few chain link panels to block the path, and were amused when they kept using the tunnel as a little hidey hole. Then, Leo, who does not swim, suddenly got brave and started going all the way down to the creek and splashing around in there. Probably he can’t get into too much trouble down there, but I worried because I couldn’t see him and would have a hard time getting to him should he need to be rescued.

One of many pathways to the creek the dogs have burrowed.

Emboldened, he started rustling around in the bushes in the northeast corner of the property, where a chain link fence separates us from the freeway. We put up a few more chain link panels to close some soil erosion gaps that a brave doggie could squeeze through and get himself schmooshed. My real concern though, is that he could wander north through a woodsy patch and then over the creek and off into some neighbor’s yard, and maybe to REI or the movie theater or something.

He’d disappear into that patch of bushes, but usually come back when I called him. I haven’t been worried at all about Mia running off, because she knows what a good thing she’s got going here. One night a few weeks ago, though, she kept racing into those bushes, and not coming back willingly when I called. I’d finally coax her out only to have her race back in. Figured there was some kind of animal in there tempting her.

The next day, I tromped through the bushes with my doggies and discovered tufts of  brown and black fur in the blackberry thorns, and a clearing that would have been way fun to play in when I was a kid, or if I were a dog.

The clearing

Rob and I fastened the last four of our spare chain link panels across the opening to the clearing, knowing full well that the dogs could still get around them, but hoping at least to discourage them or slow them down.

Can you see the chain link?

How about now?

A few days ago, they didn’t come when I called, so I went up and found them sniffing around on the wrong side of the chain link. “You dopes, you figured out how to get out, but now you can’t get back in?”

Apparently, deer have the opposite problem. The other day, the dogs went bonkers at the back door because this guy was wandering around out there.

The chain link in this photo is the barrier to the freeway.

He walked around our studio building, then back toward the clearing, which I presume was the direction from whence he came. After Rob took the above picture, the deer walked up to the chain link, then barreled through, flipping the panels on their sides and running under them.

So, uh, what now?

I went up and righted the chain link this morning. Trying the same thing that didn’t work before. That’s the definition of insanity, isn’t it?

Dogs, if this were your playground, would you try to escape?

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Everyone who’s ever had a dog has had a dog who died

October 7, 2011

I’m taking a new writing class with my fiction-writing teacher. A memoir-writing class, because I knew when Isis died that I was meant to write a memoir about our life together.

I’m wary of writing a book where the dog’s death is a surprise. When I read Marley & Me, I knew how it was going to end, because I did the math. Still, I heard from several readers who felt betrayed by the sweet little story where the dog dies at the end. At the end of a long, happy life, I might add.

Although Isis’ sudden and unexpected death is a wonderfully surprising twist that no one would see coming, I want to protect my readers from the heartbreak that we felt. I have written ten pages to turn in about that day in February when I brought Leo to work with me, had the loveliest time, and then got the call that Isis had died. I think the first part of those pages, up until I arrive home, will be the first chapter of the book. But the rest of what I turn in — the details of what happened to her, how we felt that day, and what we did next — will happen later in the book. After the first chapter, I will go back to the day we got Isis and tell the story from the beginning.

Yesterday, I wrote the scene at the vet’s office the day Isis died. We saw a vet I’d never seen before (and hadn’t seen since). I remembered her first and last name, and how nice she was.

Today I took the dogs to the vet for some routine stuff, and was very surprised when that doctor came into the exam room. The first thing I said was, “Oh! You were here when my dog Isis died in February.” She said she thought I looked familiar, and then had the pleasure of meeting Miss Mia.

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Get over yourself, poets

October 5, 2011

I don’t pretend to know anything about poetry. I didn’t even know we were going to a poetry reading Monday night. I thought we were going to a music open mic thing.

Rob’s friend Rion had a couple of pieces he wanted to perform. He asked the MC if profanity was OK.

“I think misogyny is lame,” the MC said. I thought he said “massaging.” Why is massage lame?

“And racism’s no good either.”

Rion was cool with that, so we took our seats. The MC announced that this is a “challenging space. You might hear something you don’t like, and you might say something other people don’t like. But keep it civil. Have a dialogue.”

The first guy to read was pretty good. The following several were pretty “meh,” but I’m very supportive of burgeoning artists for putting themselves out there.

The guy before Rion takes a dramatic pause and says. “2012. FUCK. None of the above.” That was it. His poem.

Rion delivers two fast-paced, hard core pieces. They sound like a cappella rap. Listen for yourself.

I thought he was wonderful, but like I said, I don’t know anything about poetry. I guess it’s not good if you don’t read it slow.

Taking dramatic pauses for effect.

Reading from the backs of envelopes where you’ve scrawled your poems, so marvelous that they need no revision, and you can’t be bothered to copy them onto a real sheet of paper, or even …

Type them.

A featured poet gets 20 minutes to read. She’s angry at the world, men and therapists in particular, and the audience laughs like she’s the best observational comedian they’ve ever heard. I’m uncomfortable. Her poetry makes me sad, and kind of offends me. I want to leave but don’t want to be rude, and finally she’s done and it’s the intermission and we get up to leave.

On our way out, past the other artists taking smoke breaks, the MC pulls Rion aside and invites him NOT to return to open mic night.

What. the. fuck.

Rion leaves, but Rob wants to know why, so we ask. The MC has gone inside, but a few few other guys tell us it’s because Poetrynight should be a “safe space.”

Wait. I thought it was supposed to be a “challenging space.” I ask, “What was threatening about it?”

“Oh, I don’t know, talking about ramming some bitch with his dick.”

I don’t recall that being a line in Rion’s poem. I say, “He was just telling a story.”

An older guy with mutton chops said, “I didn’t mind it. It was very raw.”

Bewildered, we consult the video. Two parts that possibly could have offended people were the thing about killing a bitch like OJ and the other taking out his cock to piss on his father’s corpse. omg. He said cock. And jism.

People were threatened by that? Really? Enough to banish him from an open mic night?

I don’t get it. Stupid, pretentious poets.

Unless what they were really mad about is that he went over the three minute limit.

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Beyond Oyster Dome

September 28, 2011

During the past few years, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m just not that outdoorsy. And that’s OK.

Never mind that I live in the Northwest and that my friends and colleagues hike, kayak, climb rocks and sleep outside for fun. Sometimes I get to wade in rivers and brave the elements for work, and I enjoy the adventure. But it’s also OK when I find it challenging.

I like to read. And I like to nap.

I have chronicled a couple of the adventures that led me to this conclusion. They include a mountain goat survey for work. And the hike that made me realize that I would definitely hold Rob back if we were partners in the Amazing Race.

Here I am at the zenith of the Bat Caves hike of 2005:

I look proud of myself, don’t I?

Totally faking it.

Here I am last weekend, having hiked that same trail even higher to the Oyster Dome:

That’s genuine pride.

Rob had gotten it into his head to hike up to the Oyster Dome, spend the night and then do a TRX/portable kettlebell workout the next morning. I said, “Good luck with that. Enjoy.” But then he started acquiring all kinds of gear and it started to sound like fun. I said I’d go too, and we’d bring the dogs. Then I thought it might rain that night, and I chickened out. Then the weather was supposed to be really nice, and I was back in.

We got a tent, sleeping bags, camp food, headlamps, little reflecting things for the dogs. And I just committed to it. I was going to make it up there.

It helped that it was not too hot, not too cold, and we left in plenty of time to get to the top before sundown. Because we would have had a hell of a time setting up camp after dark.

In my 2005 blog post, I was very descriptive about each step of that agonizing hike. This time, I was prepared for Rob to take off way ahead of me, but he was pretty weighed down by his backpack full of lanterns and a 2.5 gallon jug of drinking water, so for most of the hike, we were together. We strapped a backpack on Leo too, with his food and two bottles of water. It was a pretty heavy pack and he did seem tired. We took it off him during our many rest stops and he’d plop down beside us, looking enormously proud of himself.

Each time we got up to go again, he’d stand, resigned to his duty, and let me strap that thing back on him. For the first half of the hike, he also had the burden of pulling me. As we got to the steeper parts, I unhooked Leo’s leash as well. That’s when I fell behind.

Mia was off leash almost the whole way, and would trot ahead, leading the pack, looking back at us frequently to make sure we were still with her. I worried the hike would be too strenuous for her, but she kept bounding ahead.

I don’t think I’m in such better shape than I was in 2005, although maybe I walk more often, because of the dogs, and I knew what to expect. We passed a couple of dry streambeds and I remembered how scary they were when they were filled with water.

The last part of the hike was no joke. Very steep. At one point, I could take only five to ten steps at a time. I’d stop, take a few breaths, and count out steps again. I made it to twelve a few times. Then back to five. My feet were unsteady because of the weight of the pack. I struggled to find my footing amid the roots. Rob and the dogs had climbed out of sight, but I didn’t have the devastated, abandoned feeling I had before. Even if I took only five steps at a time, I was going to get there.

During the last stretch, I knew we were almost there. I could see sky between the trees. The trail was uphill, but smooth. No roots to trip me up. I made it.

Rob wanted to set up the tent right on the rock face, looking out at the bay. We found that spot to be a little too windy, so we moved the fully assembled tent to a spot nestled between the trees. Still with a water view. We had tethered the dogs to a tree and left them there while we moved the tent. They cried and moaned.”You didn’t bring us all the way up here to leave us tied to this tree, did you?”

No one else camped up there with us, although we did see a guy carrying a wiener dog when we first reached the top. Carrying his dog, I think, so Leo wouldn’t eat it. “So this is the dome?” he asked. It was very near sunset and I didn’t envy him having to make that downward hike in the dark.

Our dogs slept with us in the tent, and let us snuggle them more than usual. Mia makes an excellent pillow.

I highly recommend a headlamp for late night bathroom trips in pitch black woods. Rob slept like a rock, as usual, but I barely slept, which was not entirely unexpected. I frequently have trouble sleeping in new places. Add to that the extreme physical exertion, and yeah, I’ll confess, I was in a great deal of pain. Too bad we both brought first aid kits with Band-Aids and Neosporin, but no ibuprofen. My legs ached. Not just in the muscles, but deep in the bones and joints. I couldn’t get comfortable even just lying there. Everything hurt. I remembered a similar feeling in my arms following an overzealous kayaking adventure in 2006. I also remembered it would not last.

In the morning, I felt better, and Leo was antsy. I tethered him to a tree and tried to let him wander outside the tent. He kept winding himself around trees, and a few times tried to take down the tent by circling around it. I’d bring him back in the tent, hoping he’d settle down, but he wouldn’t, so I’d let him out again. Finally, after he was quiet for several minutes, I thought he’d just settled down outside. I gave the tether a gentle tug and felt its slack. I reeled it in, still slack, until I had in my hand, like a scene from a horror movie, the chewed-off end of a leash. “Leo chewed through the tether!” Rob didn’t even wake.

I slipped on my hiking boots and said, “Mia, go find Leo.” Oyster Dome is basically a rock formation surrounded by cliffs. A dog could easily slide, jump or fall off one of them. I called Leo’s name a few times and he finally bounded toward us, romping with Mia through the trees until I clamped a leash back on his collar.

Leo was duplicating his usual morning routine. He doesn’t want us to stay in bed all morning. He’ll start tearing at the bedsheets until I get up. But if I relocate to the couch, he’ll hop up on the chair across from me and go back to sleep. I grabbed my sleeping bag, leashed both dogs, and lay down on a nice slanty rock with a view of the bay. Rob woke up and started putting on his shoes to come join us, but we were interrupted by Leo’s territorial bark. Some rotten people had gotten up at the crack of dawn and summitted the Oyster Dome already. By this time, Leo considered the rock to be our new house, and he was going to protect it. Sorry, folks who thought you would experience a peaceful morning atop the dome. Sorry my dog ruined it for you.

So we didn’t get a picture of me snuggled in my sleeping bag on the rock.

We stretched with our TRXs, ate a leisurely breakfast and walked the agonizingly steep trail home. It was murder on the knees.

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