Archive for the ‘literature’ Category

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More misadventures of the Leo Bug

May 22, 2012

Tonight I will be reading an excerpt from Smiley Bird: A memoir of Isis, which begins with “Isis was like those children who misbehave in school because they’re TOO smart.”

What’s Leo’s excuse?

A month ago, I was so proud of my boy for how well he was doing in daycare and school. He was still a little unfocused, but I thought that would improve with the new class.

Not so much. He’s been suspended from daycare until he matures a little and gains impulse control.

He hasn’t been listening to his teachers and he bugs other dogs who don’t want to play with him, even grabbing their collars, which is a serious no-no.

I thought Leo was behaving very gentlemanly in this photo from daycare.

Two weeks ago, I would have been surprised to learn that he was behaving badly at daycare (again), except during our past two Fun and Focus classes, he became very overstimulated and lashed out at the other dogs. I hoped it was just an on-leash problem (he’s on-leash in class, off-leash at daycare), but after receiving this latest information, it’s clear he can’t go back to daycare for a while.

I’m disappointed and discouraged. I feel like a failure. It stings all the more because I’ve been writing this memoir about Isis. I thought we were past this. How did I miss the signs?

Maybe I just overlooked them. For one, I noted in my post a month ago that he countersurfs and pulls stuff off the counter. That’s a lack of impulse control, and a sign he doesn’t listen to me when I tell him to leave it.

Last week, before all this came to light, Leo did a fantastic impersonation of Isis outside Village Books. We had taken Leo and Mia to the park, then ordered food from the cafe downstairs, planning to lay out a towel and eat on the grass. Rob strode off to pick up the food. I stood beside the car, holding both dogs’ leashes and was rummaging around for the water dish when Leo trotted away onto the lawn. His leash had detached from his harness!

Leaving the car door open, I took Mia up to the lawn and called Leo’s name. He ignored me, running up to two tiny children, not even as tall as Leo’s front legs. The children’s eyes and mouths widened, and I called out the phrase that all stupid dog owners say when they’ve lost control of their dogs, “He’s friendly!”

Leo trotted around for a few more minutes, getting close enough to frolic with Mia, but not close enough for me to grab him. Finally, he wandered over to the patio dining area and said hello to a dog that was sitting with his people. I asked the woman with the dog to grab Leo’s collar for me, which she did. No harm done. He didn’t snarl or bark at anyone, or run into traffic, or make anyone cry.

But he blatantly disregarded me. Totally consistent with a dog lacking impulse control who doesn’t listen. So I was humiliated just the same. The familiar shame reading like a page from my memoir about Isis.

Leo on his first day of daycare a year ago, wearing a leash because he wouldn’t come when called. Sigh. Guess I can’t pretend I didn’t see the signs.

Last night, he was more destructive than usual, but for once, I understood why. Whenever we give him a bone, he races around the house looking for a place to bury it. Hilarious, but totally logical, because when he tries to eat something in plain sight, he winds up dropping it at Mia’s feet and she won’t give it back. He’s been known to tuck a bone underneath my pillow. Thoughtful guy.

So yesterday, he discovered the knotted end of an old rawhide and began his prepare-to-bury frenzy. I turned my attention to dishwashing for five minutes, then found him on the bed, surrounded by chunks of foam.

What the hell? Had he torn apart a couch cushion and brought it in here?

Nope, he had been so overzealous in his burying efforts that he dug a hole in our memory foam mattress cover! Fortunately, the part he destroyed is above where our heads go, so we can sleep around the damage.

Oh, my sweet Leo, what are we going to do with you?

Work on your impulse control, that I know for sure.

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Working Title

May 21, 2012

One of the assignments in my memoir class was to write a eulogy for someone in our story. The person didn’t have to be dead, but my main character happens to be, so it made sense to eulogize Isis. A classmate said he found my Eulogy for Isis very touching and he hoped I would use it somehow in my book. Originally, I thought my book would start with the day Isis died, but after my classmate’s comment, I decided the actual eulogy would make a nice prologue. And since the whole book really is a tribute to her life, Eulogy for Isis seemed a fitting title.

My teacher thought Elegy for Isis was better, which sounds fine, but I don’t like the way the word Elegy looks as much as I like Eulogy. Also, there exists a book called Elegy for Iris (about Iris Murdoch). I thought Eulogy for Isis was a clever play on Elegy for Iris, if anyone gets the reference. But Elegy for Isis may be to on-the-nose.

My mother thinks either choice would be too much of a spoiler, but as I’ve said, I want my readers to be prepared for the inevitable. Which is why I’d open the book with a eulogy. But she has a point. Eulogy is kind of downer. My mom thinks I should call it something that invokes the sweetness and joy of Isis’ life.

Smiley Bird.

That would be a good title. That was our favorite nickname for her. Except then people would think it’s about a bird. My mom said, “Well, there would be a dog on the cover.”

True. I imagine this being the cover shot:

See how she looks like a bird? And she’s smiling?

I had wanted her name to be in the title, but I didn’t want it to be possessive, because Isis’ leads to all sorts of apostrophic confusion and pronunciation challenges.

Fortunately, I don’t have to decide right now. I have to finish the book first.

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Legends of the family

March 7, 2012

Our latest assignment in memoir class is to take a well-worn family story, told so often it has a punchline and fits neatly into a little box, and upend it by asking questions, giving more context and unraveling all the threads that made it fit so nicely into that little box.

The challenge is that until now, we have been working to take the messiness of real life and make it nice and cohesive. That little box gives our life stories shape and meaning. Now I’m supposed to tell you a story that already was tied up with a neat little bow and make it messy?

Challenge accepted. I have two such stories in mind:

  1. Watching on the petcam as Isis pulls the stuffing out of the couch.
  2. Isis bolting from our off-leash training session to steal a ball from a Mexican soccer game while the players shouted, “Perro! Perro!”

Not sure how I’m going to unravel those threads. Tying stuff up with a bow is a hard habit to break.

March 8 update: I’ve already had one revelation. These were the funniest of such events, but they weren’t isolated. Isis had torn that couch months before. She’d broken away from me before, two or three seriously embarrassing times. Putting all the context behind it takes away the surprise factor, the punchline, if you will, and reveals a pattern of behavior.

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For the memoirists

March 3, 2012

Last night I finished reading Ann Patchett’s memoir Truth and Beauty, about her long friendship with Lucy Grealy, author of Autobiography of a Face.

During her book tour, a fan asked Grealy about the process of writing about her childhood battle with cancer:

“It’s amazing how you remember everything so clearly…All those conversations, details, were you ever worried you might get something wrong?”

“I didn’t remember it,” Lucy said pointedly. “I wrote it. I’m a writer.”

This shocked the audience more than her dismissal of illness, but she made her point: she was making art, not documenting an event. That she chose to tell her own story was of secondary importance. Her cancer and subsequent suffering had not made this book. She had made it. Her intellect and ability were in every sense larger than the disease.

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Yes, I am writer

January 23, 2012

I have no idea how I passed high school English. First of all, I never learned the formula for a high school English class essay. Secondly, I don’t think I actually read any of the books we were assigned.

And I love to read. I’ve always loved to read. But whenever I sat down to read the books assigned to me, my eyes just glossed over the words and I didn’t process them at all. The night before the English AP, I reread The Great Gatsby and thought, “Hey, that’s not a bad book.” (I got a 5 on the AP, by the way, but that’s because I was able to draw on my knowledge of Hamlet, from acting in it.) Even then, I must not have understood Gatsby, because last year, I reread it a third (?) time and it was all new to me. Did you know that all the characters do in that book is drink and party? How is this standard high school reading? How did I not realize that’s what it was about?

I reread Persuasion in college, like it was the first time, and very much enjoyed it.

I’ve been listening to some classics on audiobook while driving lately, because the last few contemporary novels I listened to pissed me off, and I wasn’t sure if that was because they were shitty books, or because I wasn’t experiencing them properly, having them administered through the ear. I’ve appreciated To Kill a Mockingbird (which I read as a young person, not for school, but I didn’t remember it well. I thought Boo Radley was the black guy Atticus defended.) and Of Mice and Men (which I’d never read).

Then I read that House of Mirth is Mindy Kaling’s favorite book. House of Mirth? You mean House of Boring! I couldn’t even get through that book in high school. Unless, maybe I didn’t really try? So I got it on audio, and you know what? Lily Bart’s kind of a kickass heroine.

So, for the record, I was an idiot when I was in high school.

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I paid full price for @mindykaling’s book

November 19, 2011

Mindy Kaling is one of my comedy heroines. Right up there with Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

I always thought she was funny in her tertiary role on The Office, and was impressed when I noticed that she had a writer, producer and sometimes directing credit. I “liked” Subtle Sexuality on Facebook after watching the video for Male Prima Donna.

Following her on Twitter is what solidified our completely one-sided friendship.

When her book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) came out a few weeks ago, I asked Rob to get it in audio form, because it’s so awesome to hear comedy writers read their own stuff. In the book, she talks about how falling asleep watching Dave Chappelle made her feel like they were friends. Well, that’s what it’s been like the past few weeks; Kelly Kapoor tells us funny stories every night before bed.

The best part is that Rob thinks she’s hilarious too!

His review: Once you factor in her creative talents in authoring & narrating humorous tales, Mindy’s hotness skyrockets through the roof. Gorgeous and brilliantly witty. She is the second smartest & hottest & funniest girl next to Kari.

Awww.

So when I found out she was going to be signing her book in Seattle, even though I’d already listened to most of it, and even though I can’t remember the last time I paid cover price for a book (sorry, authors), and even though the UW Bookstore required you to buy the book there to have it signed, we happily drove down there and paid $25 for the book and the privilege of saying “You’re my favorite Twitter friend.”

Know what else is cool? And I can say this with some authority since I grew up in Los Angeles and have seen my fair share of celebrities close up. Mindy Kaling is considered more of a “real person” than a “model/actress” type (which she notes in the chapter where she describes having to audition for, and be turned down for, the character of “Mindy” in a pilot she wrote!). And yet, compared to all of us schlubby Pacific Northwesterners, she looked famous. Glamorous and put together. And was so gracious.

/fanletter

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Everyone who’s ever had a dog has had a dog who died

October 7, 2011

I’m taking a new writing class with my fiction-writing teacher. A memoir-writing class, because I knew when Isis died that I was meant to write a memoir about our life together.

I’m wary of writing a book where the dog’s death is a surprise. When I read Marley & Me, I knew how it was going to end, because I did the math. Still, I heard from several readers who felt betrayed by the sweet little story where the dog dies at the end. At the end of a long, happy life, I might add.

Although Isis’ sudden and unexpected death is a wonderfully surprising twist that no one would see coming, I want to protect my readers from the heartbreak that we felt. I have written ten pages to turn in about that day in February when I brought Leo to work with me, had the loveliest time, and then got the call that Isis had died. I think the first part of those pages, up until I arrive home, will be the first chapter of the book. But the rest of what I turn in — the details of what happened to her, how we felt that day, and what we did next — will happen later in the book. After the first chapter, I will go back to the day we got Isis and tell the story from the beginning.

Yesterday, I wrote the scene at the vet’s office the day Isis died. We saw a vet I’d never seen before (and hadn’t seen since). I remembered her first and last name, and how nice she was.

Today I took the dogs to the vet for some routine stuff, and was very surprised when that doctor came into the exam room. The first thing I said was, “Oh! You were here when my dog Isis died in February.” She said she thought I looked familiar, and then had the pleasure of meeting Miss Mia.

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Early criticism

June 27, 2011

Trains of thought are funny things. I was driving home from book club, thinking about a caption I wrote under a photo of Leo on Facebook. I wrote, “Leo smiles more ever since Mia joined the family.” I wondered if maybe I should delete the “ever.” Yes, I actually copy edit myself after I’ve posted things online, and think about diction while driving. When I catch errors in old FB posts that I cannot change, I cringe and worry that people will think less of me. I think less of me.

The phrase “ever since” triggered a memory. I want to say I was in second or third grade when I was assigned my first book report. I’d heard of book reports, of course; I have an older brother. And I’d read books about kids who had to write book reports, like Anastasia Krupnick and Ramona Quimby. I don’t remember who the teacher was, or what the book was. Looking back, I don’t think we were even assigned to do “real” book reports. We were given half-pages of paper and were supposed to write back cover summaries. I read a lot, so I knew from back cover summaries. I wrote something like, “Ever since Susie Q started her new school, she suspected her classmates were really witches.” I was pretty proud of myself. It read just like the back covers of my books.

The teacher (might have been a teacher’s aide) was displeased with many of our book reports. She read an example of one that was especially egregious. Mine.

She didn’t name names, but I was really embarrassed and had no idea why mine was an example of what not to do. We weren’t supposed to start with “Ever since”? Was I supposed to write, “I read a book called Blah Blah. The main character’s name is Susie Q. Blah blah blah.”

This happened nearly 30 years ago, and I’m still scarred. What a shitty teacher. Sadly this wasn’t the last time I was told by a teacher at a fancy private school (who ought to know better) that I didn’t know how to write. Which reminds me of the time Anastasia Krupnick wrote a poem that she thought was wonderful, but got a bad grade because it didn’t rhyme. Her poet father disagreed with the teacher and changed the F to Fabulous.

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My alternative lifestyle

December 23, 2010

While on vacation the three days before Christmas, I decided to pretend I’m a different kind of writer. The kind the writes from home.

I volunteered to turn in 10 pages at my fiction writing class on the first day back after the break. On top of that, we have another writing assignment we’re supposed to read out loud.

Between the days off this week and two next week, I should be able to write 10 pages easily. But I’m having a hard time. I can’t visualize what it is that I’m writing about, is the problem, I think. Sentence construction like the previous is another. Problem.

I should just write write, not care if it’s good and go back and revise later.

If I were self-employed, this is what my day would be like:

  • Take Leo to the dog park from 9-10.
  • Play with Isis in the backyard.
  • Shower.
  • Sit at computer and check e-mail, Twitter and Facebook.
  • Eat.
  • Maybe write something.
  • Take Isis for a walk.
  • Play with Leo in the backyard.
  • Write?
  • Talk to Rob when he gets home from work between 4 and 5.

Given this, I did write 1,000 words yesterday. While walking Leo a short while ago (we skipped the dog park, it was raining), I decided I would have a solid 2,000 words by the end of the day and also make some headway on the other assignment, which is to write obituaries for some of my characters. Harder than I thought it would be.

I’m hungry.

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Salitter drying from the earth

July 16, 2010

In all likelihood anyone who googles “salitter” will be directed here to my review of The Road.

When I googled “salitter” I found this.

Generally I prefer novels that are entertaining reads. I want a sensical plot and a fulfilling resolution. I don’t need to be “challenged” but I’m happy if I’m given something to think about. Water for Elephants, The World According to Garp and The Dogs of Babel meet these criteria. These are the kinds of books I’d like to write.

I could never write a book like The Road. It’s like a painting. Or a poem. It’s art.

Cormac McCarthy uses words like “salitter,” phrases like “ensepulchred within their crozzled hearts,” and he doesn’t use commas. He doesn’t want you to breeze through his book. As a friend of mine put it, “It’s written to make you uncomfortable.”

I had to reread commaless sentences to figure out where the pauses went. I had to mark words to look up later.

Narratively I felt like the postapocalyptic story became repetitive. They walked on the road. They found a place to camp. Maybe they found food and ate it or maybe they were hungry. They encountered some danger. They were afraid and desperate, teetering on the brink of hopelessness.

But it was so beautiful.

As the story wore on I wondered why the father and son kept walking on this road. I understood why the wife/mother didn’t stay with them. There was no hope. I kept reading to find out if they would reach the coast and what would happen when they did although I suspected they wouldn’t find what they needed. They weren’t the last two people on earth but they might as well have been since they trusted no one else not to eat them or steal their stuff. Or both.

One of them was going to die and then what was the other one going to do? Keep walking the road alone? Each was the other’s reason for keeping on.

Here’s why I loved this book. Here’s why it’s art: After all the harrowing desperation, the ending was uplifting. As happy an ending as you could hope to have after the apocalpyse.

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